


“If he loves you, he’ll let you top.”

by ekzxo (2870)



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Birthday Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Jongin Day, M/M, Phone Sex, Romantic Comedy, Switch Lee Taeyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:00:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2870/pseuds/ekzxo
Summary: Taeyong makes an irrational attempt to define their relationship on Jongin's birthday.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	“If he loves you, he’ll let you top.”

**Author's Note:**

> im not done yet I jus wanna drop this b4 I go to work and its only 3 more hours for jongins birthday in my timezone. needa post this asap, but yooo I want more fluff at the end!!! 
> 
> enjoy though have fun reading jongin being the dom he is but still being babied by taeyong

Why of all things? 

For why did Baekhyun find it so necessary to shove that crude suggestion into Taeyong’s head. 

It isn’t true.

But how else is Taeyong supposed to know how Jongin truly feels for him? Of course there’s the very typical method called a thorough discussion that a couple would participate in, but who is Taeyong kidding? He’s awful with expressing feelings. They both are. The reason Taeyong is in this predicament right now is because all he and Jongin do is fuck, and fuck, and fuck. 

Taeyong is madly, oh so deeply in love with his boyfriend. It’s like a good yawn first thing in the morning. Jongin is his daily dose of everything right in his life. The love Taeyong feels for Jongin runs so deep in his veins, he doesn’t think he could live without him. He was certain of it six months ago, and now six months later, he still hasn’t told him. Taeyong cannot tell him, for the fear that Jongin doesn’t feel the same. 

Jongin is good at letting Taeyong know all the things he does right. He praises him endlessly — about how well his pants fit him, about his good grades, about how flawless he is with keeping his life together. He kisses him any chance he gets. Sometimes Taeyong would be staring into space then feel Jongin's lips on his. Jongin would tell him he’s just too irritable. How he can’t get enough of him. 

Then why doesn’t Jongin love him? 

“If he lets you bottom, he loves you,” Taeyong mutters to himself as he packs his bag for the weekend at Jongin’s place. “Yeah, right.”

♡ 彡

Taeyong is picking up a burnt almond butter cake that he prepared for Jongin’s birthday. He kinda went all out, requesting it to have bear ears attached to it. Not really bear ears but to mold the cake so that it has ears. There’s a cute honey shaded text that says  _ Happy Birthday Nini  _ and two simple candles for his age. 

And after one year of dating, and four months being acquainted before that, Taeyong would like to think he knows his boyfriend so well. 

Except he doesn’t, because he isn’t sure what goodies to stuff into his sexy gift basket. 

Taeyong came up with the diabolical plan to make a gift basket of flavored lubricant and some toys but he doesn’t know what would really rile him up. At least, what’s  _ new _ they should try. Handcuffs are so  _ three-months-into their relationship _ ago, and neither of them like blindfolds. Taeyong doesn't know why he thought this would be so good. He chucks a position decision dice into his cart and strolls off to the checkout lane. 

When he’s visiting the next store, he gets all kinds of supposedly sexy fruits and dipped chocolate and whip cream. He figures they’ll go into the basket and it’ll be worth it. 

Massive balloons are shoved into his car and he hits the road, driving to Jongin’s house where he plans to decorate before Jongin gets off his half day. 

Taeyong told Jongin to go to his place after work, stating that they’d have a little to drink over there before heading to dinner, and that they’d end it with snuggles and a movie. He did not tell Jongin that they’ll really be pre-drinking at Jongin’s and going back there after the dinner. Long story short, Taeyong’s not lying. He’s surprising his boyfriend with decorations and sex. 

Yes, Taeyong has Jongin’s house keys. He has a spare key to his house, to his car. He even has access to one of three of Jongin’s credit cards, plus Jongin’s Netflix and Disney. And yet, they don’t love each other. Scratch that, Jongin doesn’t love him. 

Some might say it isn’t healthy. 

Taeyong would rather die in love with Jongin than to live a life without ever knowing how it feels to love someone like him.

Jongin’s home is a fine representation of himself and why Taeyong loves him so much. It’s sleek and organized but every now and then, there are shelves and crannies with the most personal possessions. He falls in love more and more every time he finds a new lego piece on display. His heart jumps when he notices Jongin put up a new photo of them. His clothes are strewn on the fancy wood floor and Taeyong’s shoes are aligned neatly by the door. Everything about Jongin’s home sends a wave of comfort to Taeyong. He wonders if he’ll ever live here. 

The phone rings, bringing Taeyong out of his stupor. He admires the splash of color from the ribbons and balloons before putting it on speaker. 

“Hi, baby. Lunch break!”

“Happy birthday, Jongin!” 

“I know, I know, you said so in the morning baby. And not even twenty minutes ago.”

Taeyong laughs while fluffing a few plushies that are on display around the cake stand. “Happy birthday, Jongin.”

“Alright, alright. Where are we heading tonight?”

“I know how much you liked that one pasta from the hotel but it was too dry. I thought we could try a more authentic Italian place.”

Jongin hums through the line, startling Taeyong from how good he sounds. Husky and deep. Taeyong has a lot to imagine from just the sounds Jongin emits. 

“Is it good?”

“Yeah, babe. I’m up for it.”

“I got you a cake too. We’ll ust blow it before we go.”

Jongin chuckles and it isn’t hard for Taeyong to be aware of something else Jongin is thinking about. 

“Are you still in the office?” Taeyong asks instead of bringing  _ that _ up. 

“Course. Where else would I be if I’m not with you?”

“Be quiet.”

“Can’t take a bit of flirting?” 

“Please, I’m over the flirting.”

The line is silent and Taeyong wonders if he said the wrong thing. He could never be over flirting with Jongin. His heart still churns the same. He will always be reduced to this giddy little doll because of Jongin’s charming words. Even if they’re playful, they’re enough to remind Taeyong how much Jongin affects him. 

“Baby…”

“Yeah?” Taeyong whispers hesitantly.

“I’m a bit disappointed you didn’t wake me up with your mouth around my cock.”

Taeyong flushes at that. He definitely had plans but he figured the night out would be better. “Oh.”

“Not too late to give me a helping hand,” Jongin says in his deep, alluring voice. It’s  _ that _ voice. Taeyong gets left in pieces with no dignity when it comes to this voice in his ear. “Babe? How’s that sound?”

“During y-your lunch?”

“Yeah.”

It’s weird knowing that he’s going to get himself off at Jongin’s house without him knowing he’s there. It’s not like he isn’t welcomed. He has the fucking key, so he’s allowed whenever. But usually Taeyong lets him know. Today is an exception as he races to the bathroom and takes out his hardening cock. 

“Eager, aren’t you? Don’t act like I didn’t hear you unzip your pants.” 

“I did,” Taeyong admits with embarrassment. 

Jongin is shuffling from his side of the line. “I haven’t even gotten started.”

“Oh? Did you lock your door?” 

“And if I didn’t?”

Taeyong forces himself not to melt this instant. He believes he’s pretty good at dirty talk, but once Jongin gets him going, it isn’t even talk but incoherent babbling. 

“I’m sure you’d like if your employees found you with a hand around your cock. Find out you’re not the big, serious boss they thought you were. But just a desperate man getting off to a phone call.”

“Not just any phone call,” Jongin groans. “You.”

“Yeah,  _ me _ .”

Taeyong licks his hand, from his fingers down to the palm. He wraps it around his cock and gives it a few skillful tugs. He raises the volume and leans against the porcelain counter, digging his teeth into his bottom lip on the verge of drawing a metallic taste. 

The sound of Jongin’s belt goes undone. Taeyong waits to hear it. He knows Jongin stashes lube in one of his drawers. Been there himself and had his face shoved against the glass work desk with Jongin rimming his ass.

“Jongin,” Taeyong mewls at the memory. 

He thinks about how suffocated his cock felt in between his stomach and the edge of the table. He remembers his nipples pressed against the cool surface. The way Jongin felt inside him was incredible that day while they were both well aware that anyone with a badge could come in. They wouldn’t, not without jongin’s permission. But there was still a chance they’d get caught ducking in Jongin’s work space.

“Should’ve greeted me with your hot mouth, baby. What’s a happy birthday without your tongue on my cock?”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong rasps. “Didn’t know if you wanted to see me so soon.”

That’s clearly a lie. Just a few days ago Jongin said he wanted to wake up to breakfast with Taeyong. But the latter figured he should go to work as soon as possible and get back just as soon. He just needs to cover up some more but it’s hard to keep things from Jongin, especially when Jongin is coaxing him with filth. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he adds when Jongin doesn’t comment. “I’ll make it up to you tonight. I promise. Please let me.”

“I want you to make it up to me now. Tell me. Tell me what you’d do if you were in my office right now.”

The fist around his cock isn’t enough. He’s anxious to spread himself open and send it to Jongin, tell him how gaping he is for him. But it requires him going to Jongin’s bedroom and finding the lube but he still doesn’t want to intervene. He can’t picture himself on Jongin’s bed with fingers in his hole unless Jongin tells him to prep. All he can do is rub himself and tell Jongin exactly what he wants. 

“Wanna strip in your office. Make a trail of my clothes right to your windows. You come in and find me. You’ll be so mad that I’m interrupting you. But you want me so bad. Want you to push me against it and shove yours cock in me. No prep from you, Nini. I’ll always be open for you. Please. I’ll be ready, but so tight for you. So hot and perfect around you.”

“Fuck, babe. I wasn’t expecting that.”

Taeyong blushes. He rubs his stomach as he asks, “What did you want to hear?”

“I thought you’d say something about how my big cock would look in comparison to your tiny little fingers around it.”

Taeyong moans at the sight, thinking of how Jongin must look right now with his balms barely above the waistline of his briefs. His cock is probably pink and leaking precome. Jongin would probably have a handkerchief on his lap to avoid any mess. If Taeyong were there, he’d lap every last drop to avoid the stains. Because he’s a neat freak, and because he always craves Jongin’s come.

“Say my name babe, I’m close,” Jongin utters. 

Taeyong notices the heavy, labored breathing through the speaker phone. It’s not enough. He needs to hear the lewd wetness. He craves the sound of Jongin coming so clearly in his ear but needs to hear the rubbing of Jongin’s cock and fist so badly. 

“Wanna hear you, can you bring your phone closer?” 

“Closer? Where?” 

“I dunno. On your lap.”

“Okay. Good.  _ Fuck _ . Say it.”

“Nini, come for me. Want you to fill me up. Have me leaking for days, _ Jongin please _ .”

Taeyong hears Jongin touching himself. It’s such a pleasant sound. He’s not used to Jongin doing it himself since he’s the one to throw handjobs left and right. And when Jongin does pump himself off in between Taeyong’s asscheeks after a round, Taeyong is too sex induced to be alert. 

The sound of Jongin moaning in defeat makes him on the verge of coming. But he’s long gone from trying to release because he wants to wait for tonight. Somewhere along the way realizing that his hand wasn’t enough, did he decide that he’ll wait for the real deal. 

“Did you finish off, baby?” Jongin says with a slurred voice. 

“Oh, no. Wanna wait for you.”

“Hey wait. That’s no fair. I feel dumb now.”

“Why? Because you came to your boyfriend’s pretty voice at work?”

Jongin laughs tiredly. “This was a one sided sex call. I’m so embarrassed, baaabe.” 

This is something else that Taeyong loves Jongin so deeply for. He’s silly after letting his guard down. He’s a big goofball who isn’t afraid to admit the things that might make him seem small. While his act with Taeyong is assertive, he’s easily sensitive and shy, not being afraid to admit how he feels. 

And yet, Taeyong desires to be loved by him. 

Heart heavy, they exchange their goodbyes. Jongin gives him gratitude and says he can’t wait to see Taeyong later. 

Taeyong is washing his hands when his phone buzzes again. For a split second, he thinks Jongin is going to call him and tell him he forgot something. Say something like people do in those romance movies, where they say they forgot to tell their significant other they love them and to have a nice day. 

He doesn’t get any of that. 

Instead, it’s Baekhyun screaming in his ear. 

“Did you tell him you wanna stick it in him, yet?”

Taeyong winces, pulling away and firmly responding, “Baek! No. No I did not.”

“But it’s his birthday!”

“Exactly. I’m sure he’s going to wanna fill me to the brim and not the other way around.” 

Baekhyun sighs. “Wouldn’t you want to hear a confession though? It’s been like a year and two months. It’s time.”

It’s weird that his friend knows the exact amount of time they’ve been together. Not many friends know the entirety of it. He laughs it off, “Not like this though. He’s gonna come on my chest then tell me he loves me? No, it doesn’t happen like that.” 

“Then I hope you tell him you love him today.” Taeyong feels Baekhyun’s sincerity in his words. 

“I love him so much,” Taeyong whispers to himself, having difficulty keeping himself together. He hardly says it out loud, so as he tells one of his best friends how much he loves Jongin, he feels the undesirable pain that can’t ever be matched. 

They discussed it yesterday over a casual game night that led to conversations about him and Jongin, so of course he’s not going to have his mind made up overnight. 

♡ 彡

Taeyong’s leg won’t stop shaking and his heart refuses to slow down. He sees Jongin pulling up to his driveway (after being disappointed at the sudden change of plans to meet here instead). When he’s walking out his car, Taeyong sprints out the door and greets him with an enthusiastic wave. 

Jongin drops his bag and embraces Taeyong in his arms. Taeyong basks in the comfort, sighing in happiness from how close he gets to be with him. They haven’t seen each other in a week because Taeyong wanted to feel the longing, to take hold of the way he could miss his boyfriend so much then finally reunite on his birthday. 

“Missed you so much, baby,” Jongin says warmly. “What’s up with the change of plans?” 

“Your home is closer to work.”

Jongin shakes his head with a silly expression. “Yours is right off the freeway I use.”

“Hmm, my home is dirty.”

Jongin trails his hands down from Taeyong’s hip to cup his ass, squeezing it firmly. Taeyong is not surprised but sighs from the touch. The neighbors are within far distance, left and right, but there’s a house right across the street that would be able to see them. It never stops Jongin from shoving him into the entrance door or touching him like this.

“What do you have in store for me?” 

Taeyong brings his lips to Jongin’s ear, planting a delicate kiss beneath it. “Come inside and find out.”

Jongin keeps his arms around Taeyong as he walks them into the house. Taeyong stumbles but trusts him to lead the way. Jongin raises him when they meet the doorstep and he lets go of Taeyong slowly. Taeyong can see the dazzling expression in Jongin’s eyes when he looks up. He’s always been so handsome, but when he’s in deep thought like this, Taeyong believes this is his most attractive state. 

“Happy birthday, Ni,” Taeyong breathes. “Do you like it?” 

Jongin doesn’t speak. His eyes gaze fondly from the birthday balloons that spell out his name. His fingers swirl the surface that displays stuffed bears and cupcakes and his cake. Jongin will always say too much, but also never says anything. They’re both so bad with feelings and emotions. He is mesmerized and thankful, Taeyong knows. And that’s what mesmerizes Taeyong. 

Taeyong sees all he fell in love with from the start and can’t take it anymore. He wants to badly say it — wants to confess his love — but he doesn’t know where to begin. And so the suggestion trickles into his mind once again and settles.

“Jongin?”

“Yeah, babe.”

“I was wondering— hey, could you look at me?”

Jongin raises his head, giving him an apologetic look. As soon as the sorrow dies down, he exchanges his expression for a curious one. His eyebrow raise makes him look sexy, Taeyong almost forgets what he’s proposing here. He just wants Jongin on top of him  _ always _ . Gosh, this is going to be so difficult.

“How about I take care of you on your birthday?”

Jongin smiles and gives him grabby hands. “You always take care of me. Care for me so well. What more can you do?”

Taeyong doesn’t know how to say it. Having it be this difficult, he almost wonders if he wants it at all. In the back of his mind, he knows he does. He wants to see Jongin fall apart beneath him. He wants him to helplessly claw on his back, tighten his legs around his hips, he wants to feel Jongin while he’s deep in his tight heat. He wants it so bad. 

“I want—I want you.”

“And you have me.”

“No, I want…”  _ Taeyong, just say it! _ “I wanna be inside you.”

Jongin goes still. Taeyong wonders if his confession is too straightforward. He instinctively brings his fingers into his mouth, forcefully biting on his fingernail out of a nervous habit to forget about things for a while. His boyfriend hates him. His boyfriend doesn’t want this. His boyfriend is supposed to be inside him, not the other way around. His boyfriend—

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Taeyong’s mouth twitches before his finger slips from his lips. “Huh?”

“Does my pretty baby want me to feel all of him? I wanna feel you differently, too.”

“I— yeah. I do. I also…” Taeyong feels his cheeks reddening. It’s so painfully hot all of a sudden. “I wanna take care of you.”

“You could be bottoming and you’d still take care of me just fine, Yongie. Doesn’t matter what roles we’re in.”

“But I want to take care of you like how you do for me.”

“That can be arranged.”

Taeyong nods with confidence. Jongin is his boyfriend after all. Why did he think that Jongin would decline or ridicule him? That wasn’t right for him to even have as a thought in the first place. Now he feels awful. It gives him more motivation to care for Jongin with all he has. But does Jongin feel what Taeyong wants him to?

“How about we have a night in? Did you reserve?”

“Oh, it’s not all that fancy. If you want to cancel, I wouldn’t even have to call. But to be decent, yeah.”

“Cancel it. I want you now. Then we’ll enjoy all this later. Maybe order in,” Jongin tells with a hopeful grin. 

“Sure. Uh, I wasn’t super sure how you’d take this so I’m really nervous right now, Jongin. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to suggest it.” He literally realized he wanted it for sure three minutes ago. But is it really coming from the right place, he thinks to himself. 

“Nothing to be nervous about. You look really pretty. Come on. Let’s get inside the bedroom.”

“Wait.”

Jongin drops his chin then looks at Taeyong through his lashes. “Second guessing?”

“I know this might make things— um, it might not set the mood— but I want to go over a few things,” Taeyong comments cautiously. 

“I’m all ears.”

“I just want you to know we can stop. Whenever. Really. Don’t do it because it’s me. Or because you think you want me to feel good. I know this is your first time in a long time. I want to do my best, but I won’t know that if you’re faking it. So please, just be honest.”

Jongin places a kiss on Taeyong’s shoulder as he voices out, “I can guarantee you’ll do good, but if it makes you feel better I’ll let you know.” 

“Good, okay I’m ready.”

“I have something, though.”

Taeyong nods thoughtfully. 

“Do you still want me in control or is the position switching a thing for you to get a hang of the dynamics as well? Do you want to  _ really _ try something different?”

Taeyong contemplates. Jongin always had the upper hand in the relationship. While Jongin told him the ball was always in Taeyong’s court— that a dom is nothing without their sub’s approval— Taeyong knew he couldn’t do anything unless Jongin said so. He’s not so sure he’s ready to revoke Jongin of his position. Plus, he really loves being ordered and then praised for doing as he should.

“I want you to tell me what to do still. I do want you to listen to me though. You will let go and it’ll be okay. I don’t want you to hold it all in like you always do,” Taeyong admits while holding his lover’s face in his palms delicately.

“I do not hold it in,” Jongin scoffs, pulling away from Taeyong’s touch. 

Taeyong giggles at the offended expression on Jongin's face. “No like, I know you just wanna let go sometime but you don’t.”

“Hm, I don’t think I understand.”

“Jongin, you turn me into a moaning mess of a bottom. I want you writhing beneath me. Want you to come undone because of me. And you won’t hold back.”

“So it’ll be like that?”

“Maybe. I want to try.”

“I’ve got it, baby,” Jongin says confidently with a spank to Taeyong’s ass. “Watch though, it’s different when you’re on top. You feed off your pretty bottom so much that you don’t need to cry like that. Sometimes seeing you is just enough for me. I’m never holding back when I fuck you.”

It sends a shiver down his spine. He just has to find back just a tinge, just so Jongin knows how it feels too, “And just for the record, when I’m bottoming, I don’t play. You feel so good. I’ll prove it to you that I’ll feel so good inside you, you have no choice but to cry.”

“I like the sound of this.”

Taeyong likes the image he gets from this. He needs to see Jongin like this sooner, otherwise he’ll—he’ll probably come in his pants right now. But Jongin’s voice is also laced with suggestions, making his cock twitch even more.

“I dunno… thinking about this makes me want to be fucked by you,” he says. 

Jongin whistles with a leveled expression, “Hm, thinking about this makes me want you inside me sooner.”

“O-oh, yeah.”

“Wait, I also want to say thank you for this,” Jongin expresses while bringing Taeyong into his chest. “I love it, baby.”

Taeyong’s heart aches a little knowing that Jongin can easily admit that he loves Taeyong’s attempt, but he can’t say he loves him. He swallows the feeling and breaks the distance between them. 

“You’re welcome,” Taeyong says through his teeth. 

Jongin pulls Taeyong by the wrist, eagerly leading them into the bedroom. With a lump of the rug, he ends up tumbling, bringing Taeyong into his arms as they land on the ground. 

“Eager, aren’t we?” Taeyong says playfully. 

Jongin ignores him, panting as he says, “Hey. Wanna do it on the floor?”

Taeyong shakes his head. “You should be comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable anywhere I’m with you.” 

Taeyong’s face contorts into something happy but disgusted because his boyfriend is so full of sweetness. He’s a honeypot that gets too overbearing because he’s just oozing cavities. He loves him anyway, so he kisses his cheek and pries him up onto the bed without a fight. 

“When was the last time you had yourself opened?”

“Uh, like before we got together.”

Taeyong’s jaw drops. He has to touch himself at least biweekly if he gets the chance. Of course he’s accustomed to it, unlike Jongin. But still, how would someone refrain from such a good feeling for so long?

“What? It’s not that long! I’ve done it a few times before you and I.”

“I mean, with fingers at least. That’s what I’m asking.”

“Yeah. Exactly. Hardly been fucked in the ass. Hardly take fingers.”

“Jongin,” Taeyong gasps in distress. 

“When I have you for a hole, why am I going to play with my own?”

Taeyong finds it strangely funny. When being on the receiving end, that person is allowed to feel pleasure from either delicacies, fingers up their ass and fingers around their cock. It is assumed that the giver is only allowed to come with his cock. There’s nothing wrong with the person who wears the pants of the relationship to be receiving either. Jongin’s logic is a bit humorous. 

“Because it feels good?” Taeyong responds in almost disbelief. 

“I feel so good when I watch you fall apart beneath me.”

“God, I wanna know what this is like,” Taeyong says lousily and takes off his shirt. “I want you to like today. Okay? I want you to enjoy bottoming and know there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Never said there was.” 

“Then why don’t you do it more often?”

“Don’t you have a preference?”

Taeyong sighs. “Fine.” He loves Jongin’s cock up his ass and would prefer it more than anything. 

“Come on. Take care of me today, yeah? Like you promised.”

“I didn’t promise shit,” Taeyong says playfully. 

Jongin lies limply in the bed, patiently waiting for Taeyong to do his numbers on him. With Jongin being so pliant and willing like this, it’s making Taeyong nervous. As many thoughts are flying around Taeyong’s head, he could say the same for Jongin. His boyfriend is too quiet right now. Taeyong has to do what he has to do instead of thinking so hard. 

Taeyong prepares the goofy gift basket, pouring out the contents onto the mattress, mentally giggling at the click-clack of all things trickling out. He presents two bottles of lube to Jongin, putting them on display like he’s trying to sell something. 

“Pineapple or cherry?”

“How long have you had this prepared?” Jongin says with disbelief. 

“The basket was just a little thing I thought about a few days ago. Not much in it. The flavored lube is the highlight!”

“You couldn’t get something more discrete?”

“Honestly, I knew you’d let me fuck you so I needed something to help me out.” He didn’t really. He genuinely wanted either of them to be lathered in sexy fruit scents. 

“Are you implying I taste awful?”

“Jongin—“

“I’m kidding, baby. I want it to reek of cherries in here.”

Taeyong’s stomach flutters full of butterflies while he undoes the cap for the cherry lube. The smell clouds his senses, being stronger than he thought. The taste on his tongue is slightly bitter and still oily, nothing much like a cherry popsicle as he anticipated. Just bland lipgloss or something. He tries the pineapple and it isn’t all that great either. Cherry it is, like Jongin said. 

“I’m going to undress you now,” Taeyong says carefully. 

Jongin nods and raises his arms over his head. Taeyong swiftly crawls onto his lap and discards his boyfriend’s top. He’s tantalizingly slow about unbuttoning his pants, cupping the bulge beneath his briefs just to get a feel for it. He’s slightly hard but it’s not good enough yet. Taeyong pulls away slightly and uses his nose to nudge Jongin’s thighs apart. When he’s given access, he sucks on the clothed cock, lapping around the crown of his cock and trailing his tongue across the entire expanse of his length. Jongin lets out a low groan and almost brings his hands into Taeyong’s hair but balls his fists around the sheets beside him instead. 

“Touch me, Jongin. There’s no rule saying you can’t,” Taeyong reminds him. While Jongin doesn’t let Taeyong touch him when he’s in control, Taeyong is all for Jongin getting handsy with him as he tops for the first time. “ _ Touch me, baby. _ ”

Jongin shuts Taeyong up by swiveling his hips, raising them up and giving Taeyong a faceful of crotch.

“That’s not what I meant,” Taeyong pouts. 

“I’m sorry what did it mean, baby?”

Taeyong sits on his knees, still in between Jongin’s legs. He leans forward and presses his palms into Jongin’s chest, fingers digging into the skin just in spite. One hand roams his body, fondling Jongin’s hardening nipple, just pinching it between his fingers until he breaks out with  _ that _ look. 

“Like that, Nini,” Taeyong coos. 

Jongin raises a hand to Taeyong’s neck, pulling him down for a fierce kiss. He sloshes his tongue with Taeyong’s and gropes his ass. Taeyong tries not to let it affect him. He savors the taste of his boyfriend’s lips, wanting to get as much of it before they begin. Taeyong always believed he was never as good of a kisser as Jongin, but jongin thinks otherwise. Taeyong is sure Jongin downplays their kisses sometimes, acting like Taeyong took his breath away so badly. When really, Taeyong knows he, himself, has been defeated every time they kiss. 

“Can I?” 

Jongin raises an eyebrow. “Can you? Use your words, Taeyong.”

Taeyong lets out a little grunt before repeating himself, “I want to finger you.”

“Okay, yeah.”

Taeyong boldly grabs Jongin by the hips and flips him over, knowing very well that he prefers to be opened up like this. While he’d really like to see Jongin fall apart digit by digit, he would rather have Jongin rest his pretty face into the sheets. He has a handful of experience on himself, plus knowing how he likes it from Jongin. Taeyong does not have an ounce of doubt, he will please Jongin very well. 

Once the bottle is warmed in between his palms, he drizzles a generous amount into his fingertips and inserts one digit carefully. Jongin tenses beneath him but doesn’t stop Taeyong from continuing, knowing that Jongin would oppose if he wasn’t comfortable. 

“Okay?” Taeyong asks anyway. 

“S’ alright.”

Taeyong maneuvers his finger in a way that’s quick but careful, opening up Jongin surprisingly easily. He manages to slip a second finger in within a matter of minutes, not before he rubs Jongin’s tight rim teasingly. Taeyong feels a different kind of power he never had before. He humors himself at the way he  _ plays _ with Jongin without advancing. Jongin starts to get antsy and Taeyong only wants to rile him up even more. 

“What’s wrong?” Taeyong comments mockingly. 

“Nothing,” Jongin breathes out. 

“Okay.”

Taeyong drastically slows his movements, scissoring in a way that's so gentle, it’s almost boring. He’s having the time of his life though, feeling his tight Jongin swallows him up. His fingers are hot and would’ve lost blood flow if he didn’t move them so frequently.

“Babe, do something. More come on.”. 

“Something?”

“Don’t play like that,” Jongin whines. “More. One more.” 

Taeyong smirks and takes hold of one of Jongin's ass cheeks, kneading it while he continues plowing his fingers into Jongin. The final digit is a significantly easy intrusion, slipping in without restrain. Taeyong loosens up and basks in jongin’s squirming body as he keeps on opening him with three fingers. Just when he thinks he’s ready, he crooks his fingers, in hopes of hitting that spot. He knows he succeeds when Jongin arches his back.

“Fuck, Taeyong,” Jongin releases. He attempts to reach for Taeyong behind him, but Taeyong won’t give him that satisfaction. 

Taeyong leaves him empty, earning another groan from Jongin. He kisses up his spine and latches his lips on his shoulders before he gets to his neck where he sinks his teeth into the skin. Taeyong laps his tongue and sucks on the sweet skin, wanting to see it blotched in pink and purple. Jongin sighs happily when Taeyong grinds against him, teasingly slipping his cock in between the crevice. 

“Wanna see you,” Taeyong says happily. 

“Want to see you too,” Jongin responds with just as much fondness. 

Jongin rolls over and Taeyong gives him a pillow, putting it beneath his head. He kisses him one more time just because Jongin’s lips do  _ things _ to him. He’s beautiful. His boyfriend is so willing and ready, with damp hair sweat already on his forehead. Eyes needy and cheeks flushed. 

Taeyong sinks his cock inside carefully, aware of the way Jongin’s face scrunched in discomfort. The feeling is foreign and goes beyond his expectations. He never thought it would feel so good. Maybe it’s because it’s Jongin, someone he loves dearly. His lover clamped around his cock, all hot and tight. Fuck, Taeyong could come any second now. He wants to move so badly, but refuses to, knowing Jongin hasn’t adjusted yet. 

“How do you feel?” Taeyong asks considerately, still awkwardly remaining in place. 

“Full. So fuckin’ full. Shit,” his boyfriend mutters in response.

Taeyong smiles and takes Jongin’s hands into his own. “Do I feel good at least?”

“Yeah, move slowly.”

Taeyong takes up on the offer, rocking his hips in a leisurely pace, the way he knows he’d like it if he were taking on a new toy Jongin bought for him. Jongin’s legs are loosely wrapped around him but they won’t be for long. His hands are clammy and Taeyong can’t wait until he buries them into his back. 

“Adjusting is hard but it’ll feel so good,” he says with a grin. “It’s not like all the times you say it though. It really hurts sometimes and does take a while Because trust me I know.” 

Jongin frowns. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. You comfort me when you say stuff like that. Even if you can’t possibly understand.”

“Babe—“

Taeyong bottoms out and gives him a swift thrust, one that has Jongin whimpering under his breath. 

“Hm?”

“Yeah, y-yeah, alright. Keep going.”

“Harder, you won’t break me,” Jongin rasps, and pulls Taeyong into him. 

Taeyong whines when he feels himself  _ deeper _ inside Jongin. He adjusts his pace, determined with the way Jongin’s chin raises with his lips parted. Taeyong just wants to kiss him, drink up the light moans but he doesn’t want to silence him. 

“Want you to touch me, Jongin,” Taeyong begs while bringing one of Jongin’s hands to his shoulder. 

Jongin nods and drapes his arms around Taeyong’s shoulder. He always knows what Taeyong wants because he claws down Taeyong’s back exaggeratedly. Taeyong hisses when he feels Jongin’s fingernails digging in deeper but he’s not opposed to it. 

Taeyong wills his hips to move faster, harder. Just like Jongin pleas. He angles his hips in a way he’s certain it’ll get Jongin acting up. His senses are tingling, drowning him with how good he feels. Jongin looks so good too. So pretty under him, thighs quivering and belly sucked in so tight. His muscles are spazzing and he’s clenching around Taeyong so hard. Taeyong doesn’t even see it coming.

“Wait, babe. Did you just—“

Jongin plants his cheek into the pillow and nods embarrassingly. His eyes are screwed shut and his chest is heaving so dramatically. Taeyong swirls a finger into the mess on Jongin’s stomach and brings it into his mouth as his tongue laps around it. 

“Jonginie, it’s okay,” Taeyong says with a giggle. 

Just as Taeyong is preparing to pull out, Jongin locks his knees around Taeyong’s hips. He stares at Taeyong, still dazed from his release as he says, “Use me, finish off.”

“No, you’re not thinking straight. You’re sensitive, you won’t like it.”

Jongin props himself onto his elbows when Taeyong makes an attempt to move away again. “Payback for all the times I’ve overstimulated you then. Come on, if you still want this, I’m willing to let you finish. End it right. Come in me. It wouldn’t be a fun bottoming story if I don’t get to say I can feel you coming inside me.”

Taeyong shivers, feels his cock regaining its urges. He nods shyly and begins to thrust in Jongin. Whether his boyfriend is good at acting or turned on again, Taeyong can’t tell. He fucks into him hard and fast, chasing the sensational feeling in his stomach. It’s the way Jongin bites his lip that makes him see stars. He tries so hard to not let his cursing out, but they still spill.

“Close, Jongin. I’m gonna come,” Taeyong whines with his hips faltering, thighs aching. 

“Stroke yourself off then come inside me, do it, baby. I know you can.”

Taeyong listens. He pulls out quickly and wraps a fist around his cock and continues to stare at Jongin’s messy hole. He lets out a cry, shoves the crown of his cock into Jongin and releases then. It’s a different feeling knowing he’s not coming on Jongin’s hand or face, but inside him. Jongin’s breaching hole is so tight around Taeyong’s cock, keeping his come from spilling out. He thrusts a few more times while heavily panting, feeling how satisfying it is to have his coated cock wrapped in such a tight, wet heat— other than Jongin’s mouth.

Jongin forces Taeyong into his arms as soon as he pulls out, squishing their cocks in between them. He cups Taeyong’s face and gives him dozens of kisses all over. Taeyong can’t help the piercing feeling he feels deep, deep down. He remembers in this moment, the only person he wants to share memories much like these, is with Jongin. He is positive nobody can fulfill him the way Jongin can. 

“Hey. Hey, why are you crying?” Jongin says carefully. 

Taeyong shakes his head, forcing his back to Jongin, not prepared to face him. Jongin has seen him emotionally cry a handful of times but he’s only seen his emotional ugly cry twice. He refuses to let Jongin relish in his bawling session, one that is his own fault. 

“Look at me,” Jongin says sternly when he can’t get on Taeyong’s side. “Taeyong.”

Feeling the warmth against his back, he finds immediate comfort. Jongin’s touch will always soothe him, even if he’s the sole reason for his pain. He sinks into it, finds himself loosening up and resting against his boyfriend’s body. His tears don’t stop, and neither does the plummeting feeling in his chest.

“Jongin,” Taeyong says weakly. He turns around and tries to catch his breath. If he’s going to say it, he wants to look Jongin in the eye. If he doesn’t feel the same, at least he will see the flash of rejection that would help him accept reality. “Jongin, I love you.”

“I love you too, Taeyong. What’s got you so worked up about it?”

Taeyong releases a whimper, unsure if it’s from relief or shock. “You’ve never told me.”

Jongin brings him in close and tells him, “I always loved you. Still love you.”

“And you never told me?” 

“I thought it wasn’t your thing.”

“Jongin, I love you so much and I’ve been trying to figure out how to say it but I can’t! I couldn’t!”

“You’re so worked up about this. I’m sorry I never let you know how I felt. But you can tell me anything.”

Taeyong’s boyfriend is right. He tells Jongin absolutely everything. From how his art commissions are going, to the way he’s struggling with wanting to get out of bed on certain days. He lets Jongin know when he thinks he needs a new hairstyle and he warms Jongin when Jongin is about to do something that’ll make him unhappy. He just never knew how to tell him he loves him. 

“Baekhyun suggested this.”

“He suggested what?” 

Taeyong rolls onto Jongin’s chest, feeling the embarrassment creep onto his face. “If you are willing to bottom for me, you really do love me.”

Jongin chuckles, all heavy and relieved. “It’s pretty long into our relationship. I’m surprised you never wanted to sooner.”

“I never thought I needed to. But now I can see myself doing it some more. That is, if you want.”

“I came way too soon today. There’s definitely more doing that I want.” 

Taeyong squeals to himself. Because Jongin really loves him if he’s willing to let him top more than once. That’s basically all he got from today.

“Can I give you a piggyback ride to the bath? Wanna lather you up in soap and take a picture. Keep it in my scrapbook for your 28th birthday.”

Jongin untucks the sheets and rubs the come off his stomach, causing Taeyong’s nose to Erich in distaste. 

“Gross.”

“My bed anyway. We have extra sheets.” 

“Still,” Taeyong says with a frown. 

“Carry me. Come on.”

Taeyong bounces off the bed and stands at the edge, he feels the weight of Jongin on his back. He never carried him before, unless he was drunk, so this is also a very foreign feeling. Jongin lighter than expected. He shivers when Jongin plants a kiss on his neck. 

“Love you, Yongie. You took care of me so well. Cut the cake after this?”

“Uh-huh! I want cake so bad.”

“I know. It’s your favorite post sex snack.”

“That and sweet potatoes.”

“Too bad we ran out and I haven’t refilled.”

Taeyong gasps and nearly drops Jongin from his disappointment. Fortunately, they’re in the bathroom by now and Jongin plops off him easily. Taeyong kneels down to adjust the water to the temperature that is just right for Jongin. Neither of them fuss about the lack of space since they always bathe together. This time is different where Taeyong wants Jongin in between his legs so he can wash behind his ears and graze his fingers down his back. 

“I said I wanna care for you today,” Taeyong mutters and begins to squeeze a heaping amount of soap into the bath. 

Jongin sighs and lets himself be shoved down into the bath. “I can’t say no to you.”

Taeyong gets behind him and brings his knees around Jongin’s body. He clings into him like the koala he is and embraces Jongin, loving the proximity they have together in a space like this. He simply can’t get enough of him. He cups some of the soap and brings it to Jongin’s hair, scratching his scalp then rubbing his back with care. 

“I love you so much, Nini,” Taeyong whispers then drops his lips onto Jongin’s shoulder. Whatever it takes just to be  _ closer _ to him. 

“Love me enough to bottom for me?”

“Please, don’t go there. It’s embarrassing.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> check back tomorrow for more than just 7k and it'll be beta'd and snipped bc I ramble write and dont cut things until im editing ughhHHHHHH hheheeheheheheheheh see my fic post for this @ 287aus twt! how is it tho


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